My Return To The Mat
After 2 days off since my injury I returned to the mat today. I showed up and my teacher spent a long time talking to me about the practice and letting go of my expectations, ego, etc. I stood in samasthitih, inhaled while raising my arms over my head and then exhaled as I lowered them. That's all I did. That simple movement hurt. I then went to do finishing and just sat in padmasana. However, I could not hold my arms in the usual position so I rested them on my knees. Most importantly I simply breathed.
This is a very stange place for me to be. This whole practice is about me stepping outside of my box and peeling away all of those layers. (I think that is why this practice is not for everyone) I am hyper flexible and found it hard not to feel frustrated by my body's inability to cooperate with my need to feel as if I have to do the whole primary series. I do not believe in coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and I am where I guess I need to be. As RengegadeBodyWork said "you've got something to let go of there" Of couse I do. Issues always manifest in the physical if not realized elsewhere. So, the plan is to just go everyday and roll out my mat and set my intentions. I am just going to be and try not engage in whatever comes up. I'll keep you posted.
This is a very stange place for me to be. This whole practice is about me stepping outside of my box and peeling away all of those layers. (I think that is why this practice is not for everyone) I am hyper flexible and found it hard not to feel frustrated by my body's inability to cooperate with my need to feel as if I have to do the whole primary series. I do not believe in coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and I am where I guess I need to be. As RengegadeBodyWork said "you've got something to let go of there" Of couse I do. Issues always manifest in the physical if not realized elsewhere. So, the plan is to just go everyday and roll out my mat and set my intentions. I am just going to be and try not engage in whatever comes up. I'll keep you posted.
posted by The Looking Bird | 4:21 PM
2 Comments:
I pulled my back the other day at work at the same time that my right wrist went, this all following a week of some knee pain and modified lotus poses. My sadness and frustration at being so injured has been eased a bit by reading your blog, just knowing that there is a lesson in all of it. It has made me face the ambition and the ego. Being able to take a few days off, having no choice, and making myself not feel "guilty" about it. My hopes to you for a speedy recovery.
I know that this is a rough one but you've taken on a great mindset and approach! I was there a while back when I had my knee surgery. I'd just roll out my mat, lay on my back and do pranayama while everyone else practiced around me. I would get angry, sad, feel weak, and then I would settle into the fact that I was actually doing what I was supposed to be doing and I would find a bliss similar to the bliss found in a full "balls out" practice. Some times the speed bumps teach us a great deal more than the autobahn.
Thanks so much with sharing this with us! Let me know if you need anything. ~G
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